Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

- Anonymous 

*

It’s been a while folks. 

Hardly any social media and NO blogging (after I promised to be updating my Blog regularly, how rude of me!)

A lot can happen in a few months.

2012 has been life changing, heady, happy, dream making, nightmare forming, an absolute heart breaker of a year. Bookwise, I published my beloved novel BEING LARA in April of 2012 in the whole of the United States.  Seeing it displayed in stores like Barnes and Noble and Target and at the airport as I was just about to catch a flight felt AMAZING. Another dream came true in 2012 – a wonderful book review appeared in Ebony magazine for err… MY BOOK!! – and that too felt absolutely amazing.

Add in a few crazy occurrences in between (good and bad) and it had already been a ‘different’ year.  Then in September of 2012 I lost my beautiful Mama.

As I said, 2012 has been different.

As Mary Mary so beautifully sang; ‘I survive’.

Thanks be to God

Thanks to my WONDERFUL family and friends (the ones who are also your family, regardless of blood) who have been ace (you know who you are).

For a while there, it was hard to write, hard to breath but I am still here. Nothing will ever feel normal again, but perhaps it’s time to embrace a ‘new normal’.

Time will tell.

So for now… I’m all about resuming with the novel I had started writing in July. That part at least feels… normal… (now I just have to figure out how to stop starting sentences with ‘But’ and ‘ And’… any ideas?)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU AND NEVER STOP CHASING THOSE DREAMS OR REACHING FOR THE STARS… NEVER STOP BELIEVING!!

LOLA

So, if this all sounds annoyingly familiar, here’s my scientifically studied remedy… Plonk yourself in front of the computer or traditional notebook (if you are one of those long-handers I secretly envy) and…  JUST GET ON WITH IT!!

And that’s it.

(Oh actually, you’ll also need to switch off the Wi- Fi, mobile phone(s), TV, MP3 player…)

And if you do manage to squeeze out 500 words and it only looks mildly better than the musings of a five year old – never fear… as I heard once, ‘It’s better to edit ‘rubbish’ than a blank page.

Basically, it’s pretty impossible to edit NOTHING.

I’ve come to the conclusion that time is just moving too fast… or I’m just not updating my Blog enough. *clears throat*

Well, still buzzed from the Olympic opening ceremony last night (I could even hear the fireworks from my home) I thought I’d give you all a treat by updating not once but TWICE in one day! The second post is entitled ’5 Ways to avoid writing that book’ and I’m sure the writers among you will know about the lure of procrastination. But if you’re like me, once you start writing your novel NOTHING can stop you.

The discipline, belief and hard work needed to fulfil the task just takes over.

So, enjoy the Olympics everyone! (plus my SECOND post of the day!)

London 2012!

Nadine Adrian Alice

Ever had a broken heart?

This month, Nadine Adrian Alice (currently in canada but soon to hit UK shores)  fills in for me by talking about a few things which helped heal her broken heart.  These include books… and cupcakes (wow, two of my favorite things!).  This is a real treat and a piece some (if not all of us) can relate to!

Take it away Nadine….

I started last year asking anyone and everyone this two part question: Have you ever had your heart broken; how did you get over it.  I was determined to get over he who I love loved.

In my search, I was running away from the truth that I still loved him.  What to do?  Well I listened intently to all those who said yes to the question.  Guys, girls, straight couples, same sex couples.  They all had experienced severe heartbreak.  And they all agreed getting over it was difficult and that I couldn’t escape the hurt and feelings. 

I thought not living in the same country as him would help so I moved away. Wrong.

I baked a ton of cupcakes.  And I can’t lie – this did help some.

I read a bunch of books to help me escape, including While You Were Dreaming, by the faboosh Ms. Jaye herself.  Oh how I wished I would wake up from this hurt and have my own Michael waiting for me.   I did learn one thing though – part of me was mourning an ‘imagined version’ of the relationship I had just exited. 

These imagined moments were hopeful moments I had conjured up in my mind.  For example – weekend getaways; waking up in his arms and snuggling Saturday mornings away, dancing to Bob Marley’s “I Don’t Want To Wait In Vain For Your Love” on a grey and drizzly Sunday afternoon.

I soon realized that I was mourning a lost HOPE, not necessarily the real lived experience of the relationship.  A big difference. This realization put my heartache into perspective.   So here I am mourning a hope unfulfilled.   But if hope is eternal – I can put my trust in the faith that Hope will bring love again.

The backstory of my heaviest heartache reads like the perfect chick flick.  We met in primary school aged 4, lived on the same council estate.  He was on the climbing frame.

Dialogue as follows:

Him:  Let me see your knickers

Me:  O.k.

Fast forward 29ish years later via an email from him:

Him – Nad’s I fancied you the whole of primary school

Me:  Shut up.  I totally crushed on Craig Geddes. (a.k.a. Not you).

Him:  Do you remember showing me your knickers?

Me:  Eh.  I’m not that kind of girl – my milkshake ain’t for the boys in the yard.

Him: I remember your cornrows and skinny arms

Me: skinny arms – sure you got the right girl.

Him:  I know I do… you’ve always been my Nad’s

And it was from here we both agreed we had found the ONE.  So how could it end with so much brokenness?

In my quest to get over him I read the book, “ It’s Called A Break Up Because It’s Broken”.  I was so proud of my proactive, getting over hurt self.  But by page 53 – I’d had enough of the book – it was reminding me of what I knew – I was hurting – and by focusing on the break up I was focusing on him and the sadness too much.   I wanted to free my mind of him and get over him. The only successful advice I carried out from the book was not to contact him for 60 days.   I called on the 61^st however.

It is now a whole year later. Recently, I wrote the DO NOT SEND letter.  You know the one where you pour out your truth and heart to him and then burn it.  Unfortunately I sent it.

But – this letter turned out to be my breakthrough.  When I read that letter back to myself I learned that in trying so hard to get over him I have been lying to myself and this is preventing me from moving forward.  I am not over him. I still love him.  And this is okay to admit.  The relationship ending is not a failure on my part.  I was fortunate to experience love.  The hope I experienced during this relationship proves that I want good things for me.

Now I can say yes, I love him but it’s over.  This opens me up to love – and the hope that the gift of love will come again.

And when it does I will let you know. 

In the meantime here is the super yum recipe for my feel better cupcakes. 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees (gas mark 4)

1cup unsalted butter (not margarine)

1cup sugar (not quite filled to the top)

Mix butter and sugar together for 3 mins (no less) until fluffy and creamy

2 eggs – mix again for 30 sec

1 cup of self – raising flour – and a 1/ 4 cup more

Almost ½ cup of carnation milk (evaporated milk) and then add vanilla extract – enough to fill the ¼cup to the brim

Mix together on slow until all mixed in.

Pour into cupcake holders and bake in centre of oven for 12 mins – or until knife comes out of the cupcakes clean.

Cool and eat warm or add frosting.

Nad’s frosting                                                   

½ cup unsalted butter

Mix butter on high until creamy

Add 2 cups of icing sugar

Add ¼ cup carnation milk

Mix until well blended.

Add more icing sugar and vanilla extract until desired consistency and taste.

Add pink colouring – because pink is best.

Top with silver balls –  (because looks really pretty and will make you smile)

Enjoy with tea and Being Lara!

xoxo

Nadine

Hello All,

It’s been a while…

So what has happened in the last month or so?   

Well, those of you who didn’t know, my fourth published book, ‘Being Lara’ was released in America! So, the events and stuff that  followed (plus just being a bit worn out in general) may have prevented me from updating this Blog… So erm.. here’s a quick rundown of Lola’s World over the last few weeks…

Book launch dinner

Blog tours                                                

My Book in a Target store Atlanta!!

Reading lots of reviews including one from the influential Publisher’s Weekly. Receiving a lovely review from ‘the industry’ is just as special as from a reader as it means your colleagues also respect what you have written.

And I finally bought a copy of Ebony magazine!  Opening it up to see my book right there inside of a publication I have admired for years- priceless.

The emails from readers have been so very touching and lovely. As I have said before, when I write a book, I’m sort of writing it for me… so to then have people read it (that always shocks me) AND to feel compelled to take the time out to write to me..? That just takes my breath away.

So thank you.

And then I went to Atlanta this month and well…. I SAW MY BOOKS IN THE STORES. TOUCHED THEM ON THE SHELVES AND POSED GORMLESSLY WITH THEM!

That was fun.

Most notably, were the stores Target and Barnes and Noble.   I also got to meet the author Eric Jerome Dickey whose review just happens to be on the same page as mine in Ebony magazine this month. It felt nice to hand him over a copy as he hadn’t yet seen it. And the  biggest shock of all? Seeing my book in Atlanta airport! I was on my way back to England and decided to browse the books and I SAW BEING LARA ON A TABLE JUST ABOVE SIDNEY SHELDON’S.

Deep breath, deep breath.

The lovely sales assistant took some photos of me ‘posing’ with my book and this was a fitting end to a rather lovely stay  in  sunny Atlanta.

So apologies for going back on my promise to update this Blog a little more regularly (but posting this today means I at least get one post in for April - tee hee).

The Guest Blogs will be coming back next month so stay tuned and if you haven’t got a copy of Being Lara yet… what are you waiting for?

“But we can’t buy it in England yet!” I hear some of you cry…

Erm…

Yes, that’s ALL 50 States!!!

Being Lara is my 4th book and you know what? The excitement of release day/week/month never fades. This feeling NEVER get’s old. Those of you who have followed me from Day One on my unpublished author blog,will know the ‘struggles’  I went through to get that first publishing deal which started with By The Time You Read This… (that book was my first PUBLISHED book but by know means the first I’d written.)

It really gives me joy when I receive an email or a Twitter post from a newly published author saying; ‘I read your Blog and it gave me hope…’

What a joy.
Because authors like Lisa Jewell and Lolita Files gave me hope when I was unpublished.

Now, Lolita has written a quote for Being Lara and Lisa Jewell wrote one for By The Time You Read This…  

Wow.

Has all this really happened?

Yes It has and I thank God, my agents, publishers, my family, readers everyone!!!!!!!!!!

Being Lara  is out TODAY. Available in all independent book stores,  Barnes and Noble, Target, Amazon…

UK readers: may be able to purchase a copy at The Book Depository  and of course, it’s also available as an e-book wherever e-books are sold.

Now, I’ve just finished a radio interview with the lovely Dr Alvin and I may have a celebratory cupcake… or two… after I change out of my dressing gown!!!!

I have known about this for a few months now and when I found out I literally screamed the place down.

Ebony is aspirational. A dream magazine. And I feel so blessed.

Needless to say; I can’t wait to see it!

The lovely, beautiful, talented  and much missed Whitney Houston is on the front cover.

Doesn’t have to be long. A few lines will do – whatever you like. BUT nothing X Rated, political or littered with swear words (as IF you would!).  Oh and the poem must include the following

• POTATOES

• SOCKS

• RED BUS

• CUPCAKES

Yes, they are a bit random, but should make for a fun read…

Happy Writing!!

Winner announced soon – so get them in NOW!

L

The other evening – it was Halloween to be exact -  I was out at a bar, a  Halloween party no less,  with my friends. I am single and a mum – I don’t get out that often to places where actual, real, grown men might be, let alone where there may be the chance to indulge in a little harmless flirting.  I was all over it!

I approached a friendly looking guy (the most unthreatening looking man in the room – my usual tack) and we got chatting. Given that I was dressed as a witch, there were some basic things to get over first, like is that your own beauty spot and what colour is your actual skin? I am presuming it’s not green….

I asked him what he did – he was some sort of communications manager  which we chatted about – and he asked me and I told him I was a writer…

“Wow, what sort of writer?”

“I’m a journalist” I said “and I also write novels”

“Anything published?” he said, looking at me skeptically  – This is often the response I get when I tell people I am a writer and to be honest, it always confuses me. I mean of course, if you write, you ARE a writer even if you haven’t got anything published and we all know how hard it is to get there…but I just wouldn’t describe myself as such to a stranger, unless it was my job.

Anyway, he asked me what I’d written and I told him the titles of my two published novels and he said he’d look me up when he got home. There was a slight twinkle in his eye, as if to say, “course you did love…I don’t doubt you wrote them but they’re probably under your bed….” (I wanted to say no, those two aren’t but other false starts and a whole lot of hideously bad poetry, is..)

Anyway, low and behold a few weeks later and I got a message in my Facebook account from a man whose name I didn’t remember at first, and then it clicked- it was the man I had met in the bar!..

It went something like this: “We met at the Halloween party last week – you were dressed as a witch (typical that in a rare meeting with a real live man, I should be painted green….) and you told me you were a writer. To be honest it went in one ear and out the other (fair enough I’d had a few and was probably boring on, making no sense)   But anyway, I just wanted to tell you…..”

The message continued in the loveliest way telling me how he had been on a train, seen someone reading a book called The One Before the One and it had all clicked into place….

“I thought,  I recognize that title and then I thought, that’s her! That’s that girl I met at the bar!…” he said.

The subtext was, oh so she WAS telling the truth!

Why am I telling you this story? I suppose because even now, four years since getting a book deal, three since my first novel came out and one since my second, being a writer still sounds like a made up job to most people I tell…. It still sounds like a made up job to me!  I still don’t quite believe it’s true. I keep thinking I’m not really, I just seem to do a lot of typing and now and then, it’s weird, but people pay me for it. Amazing!

It’s a tough old job : VERY solitary for a start, scary (when there’s nobody around to bounce ideas off and when you don’t know if your book, that you’ve poured your heart and soul into is going sell), not terribly well paid and blummin’ hard! A mental and physical slog…Oh and it also sends you mad on occasions when you are on deadline and have run out of steam…          

 About Katy’s book ‘The One Before the One.’

They look BEAUTIFUL.

I am so thrilled with the cover, front and back and the qoute at the top…. I love it all!!

Thank you, God.